This week, we read about Jacob’s uncanny ability to bless his sons as he prepared to die.  This is a time of truth seeing and truth saying.  The text tells us that each received exactly the blessing he needed (49:28).  And not all of the “blessings” are pretty.  Jacob seemed to look into the souls and futures of his sons and say what must be said whether or not it might be hurtful.  We ask, why might sitting in the liminal space between life and death allow one to see and speak the truth to those we love?  

Most often, hearing criticism, especially when it is directed to our essential selves, is neither easy nor comfortable to receive.   

Today, I participated in the inaugural event in our Bay Area Jewish community’s Year of Civil Discourse Initiative. My blessing for this undertaking – and for all of us engaged in the work of dialogue and healing – is that we engage in this process of deep conversation and reconciliation with civility and honor. Let us hear each other’s truths without defensiveness; may we accept the deep knowing that, like Jacob’s blessings, the truth that someone else sees may be very uncomfortable for us to hear and to acknowledge.  Let us create a container of safety so that we can let go of defensiveness and be vulnerable to hearing each other with love.  

I pray that we learn from the Torah narrative that began with the story of Joseph and concludes with the deaths of Jacob and Joseph in this week’s parasha, that sometimes we must just decide to forgive, move on and let go of past hurts so that new solutions can be birthed.  Let all those in conflict experience the relief and deepened understanding that comes when honesty and openness bring clarity, honor and kindness to our relationships.  

As, I experienced in a workshop today, let us learn the balance between compassion and authenticity.  This is my blessing for all of us.

Rabbi SaraLeya
December 12, 2010
5 Tevet 5771