What is giving a Blessing?
Giving a blessing is putting your hands on another person’s head, connecting with yourself, that person, and with Creator. Ask to be a clear channel for Creator’s intentions, wishes, healing, whatever the Creator has to send to this person. Connect to the person to feel the true story behind what they long for, invite them to heal, grow, create, receive, accept, embrace, rise-up, evolve as needed. Connect to yourself and find the wisdom, humility, acceptance, sympathy, and courage to speak to what the other person is living with. Address the root cause, the present opportunity, the bigger picture, whenever you are able. Bless the other person with the things they need and long for.

Praying for someone is good. Praying for someone is asking Creator to provide. If we put our hands on someone’s head and prayed for them, it would be wonderful thing.  Blessing someone is more than that. Its stepping up and saying: ‘I, We, Bless you, that ……‘.   It’s believing and feeling the spark of Divinity in ourselves, in the person, and in Creator, connecting to the Holy Creator and the Spark of Creator in each of us. It is co-creating with Creator. Blessing someone is creating a change. It’s a doing.

What is accomplished through Blessing?
There is no way to objectively identify and quantify what blessing does. It is something different for each person. It appears that it is a healing. As a psychotherapist I’m aware that the process of getting a Blessing includes several valuable emotional and psychological experiences. People get to say what is going on, speak their truth, unburden themselves. They connect with a person around their fears and vulnerabilities, they are witnessed, and their desires are validated as someone speaks them, finding them reasonable instead of unreasonable. People are seen and heard. The above components enable people to get insight, strength, relief, and hope.  That is the objective interpretation of what happens. If we stopped here it would be a very beneficial and worthwhile experience.

What happens energetically, spiritually?  What happens when we connect at the soul level? What happens when someone connects to you delivering support, strength, and love? What happens when all of that comes from the Chorus of all the Living: from Creator, your ancestors and descendents, your family and friends, your community, from the person Blessing you, and from the Divine Immortal Being within yourself called your soul? “Creator Blesses you, this community Blesses you, I Bless you, We Bless You, We Bless you that…   Your family and friends Bless you, your ancestors and descendents Bless you that…..”. Your higher self Blesses you that ……..”.

There is no quantifying what happens. It’s different for everyone. In my opinion it facilitates a shift. People feel profoundly seen and supported. While I’m giving a Blessing people sometimes nod in agreement with what I’m saying, sometimes their bodies twitch with involuntary release of held tension. Some people cry, feel relieved.  After I’m finished people generally sit with their eyes shut and breathe for a while, absorbing it.

One night I saw a woman at a party. I had given her a Blessing months before. At the party she thanked me deeply for the Blessing I had given her. She told me that the dynamics with her family shifted substantially following the Blessing. She said she felt it right away and that next time she’ll ask for more because it all came through.

I’m not suggesting it’s always like this. It’s always different. Its what that person needs and is ready for.

Who can give Blessings
Everyone, including You. You don’t have be a spiritual celebrity like The Pope, the Dali Lama, or Mother Theresa. You don’t have to be a spiritual leader like a Rabbi, Priest, Minister, Mullah, Shaman.  If you are any of the above, that’s great. If you are none of the above, that’s still great. Everyone can give a Blessing, even if you have faults, fears, insecurities, vulnerabilities.  We all have personal work to do. The question is, can you set your issues aside for a moment to be in service to someone else, and participate in something bigger than yourself? (Don’t worry, your issues will still be available later.)

I am a Jewish person and I give blessings and teach how to give blessings at Chochmat HaLev. That said, I don’t think or feel that giving or receiving Blessings is specifically or exclusively Jewish. It would work for someone of a different spiritual path, or of no spiritual path. If you don’t believe in a Divine Creator, connect to what you do believe in, which might be all of creation, your experiences of love, or whatever you hold sacred.

So what enables someone to give a Blessing?
Recognize that you are a physical and spiritual being, created by the Creator, connected to the Divine Source, and all of Creation. Your qualification for Blessing someone is that you are a piece of the Divine. Thou Art God. A Blessing is when we connect the Divine Spark in ourselves, with the Divine Source, and the Divine Spark in the person you are blessing, creating a triangle. What happens if you extend that triangle, perhaps to include the person’s ancestors, descendents, family, friends, community, all of the above?

It sounds like a lot, but it’s easier than it sounds. Its who we are. Its how we’re wired. The grass doesn’t get stressed out about growing. Let it happen. You can give a Blessing if you let your heart be open to connect and serve.

This is the sequence that I use. The whole thing takes 5-10 minutes.

• Prepare yourself. Make sure that you are centered and grounded. Breathe. Pray for clarity, connection, support. Pray for whatever you need.

• Welcome               Invite the person to come join you.
• Introductions       Put them at ease
• Ask Questions           

• Connect           Hold hands and breathe for a moment. Use this time to connect, feel this person, pray to G-d for clarity, support.
• Permission          Ask if you can put your hands on the person's head. If they are not comfortable with that suggest that you can put your hands on their shoulders, hold hands, or just sit beside each other.
• Blessing              Speak in first person, ‘I bless you, we bless you, God Bless you, this community bless you, that.....  ‘.  Go big, speak what their heart really yearns for, give additional blessings, for other parts of their lives, their families, friends, etc.
• Finish                  Finish in a clear way. ‘You are Blessed’.
• Pause                    Hold the space until they open their eyes and are ready to move on. 
• Good bye             Thank you & Good Yontiff.
• Disconnect          Pause to let go of this person. Put them in G-d's hands. Disconnect. Move to the next person.  If you hold on to the people you bless, you will be depleted. We give them our best, and let them go. The rest is with them and Creator. 

What to bring and what to leave out

Be fully present and grounded so you can connect with that person, with yourself, and with Creator. Being fully present means that you are not casual or cavalier about giving a Blessing. That person deserves your attention. Don’t be in a rush, doing it on the fly. Don’t give Blessings if you don’t want to, or if you are too distracted, upset, tired, or simply don’t have the time right now. Its better to explain that to the person, and suggest to give them a Blessing later, when you can be fully present.

Do this when you can be a clear channel (or at least have that intention). Do this when you can step-up to the sacred, holy experience of connecting with the Divine Creator, the Divinity in Yourself, and the Sacred Miracle of a Person asking for a Blessing.

This is not therapy. People do not need to tell their whole story, and it is not appropriate for you to draw it out of them. You are to discover and deliver the Blessing(s) they need. If people are crying or struggling let them be in what they are in. You do not need to stop them or comfort them. Be present, patient, and genuine. That is what they need.

Clarity and connection requires us to be fully present. Don’t use alcohol or drugs to enhance the experience or your abilities. You might think that you are more clear or connected, but that will probably have more to do with your altered state rather than the actual person. This is potent medicine, use it wisely.